The second week!

I never thought I'd say this but I miss pine trees! Pine trees were my nemesis for decades with their release of pine pollen. I can't remember when I started to dislike palm trees and now I live palm-tree-land! I'm trying to see the humor in the them but that is difficult when the tree I see from my house is ugly! It is sunburned and droopy. I've begun a new challenge - to photograph a few of the millions of palm trees in my new hometown with a goal to portray them in unusual ways . . . Maybe a study of them will give me a new perspective!

The second, lousy, photograph was taken at noon from the patio. I'm hoping that when we get neighbors they don't block the view of the mountains with huge trees! See those spiky pole-like things above the roofs? Palm trees!!! A palm tree has been planted every few houses in each block. Happily our house wasn't one of the chosen ones to receive one.
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A great friend wrote me today what she referred to as a "yelling at me" email! I needed it! I'm only posting the last paragraph here:

"Gail, you are surrounded with stimulae. You have one of the most creative minds I have been allowed to visit. You have this whole seeing thing down perfect. But you aren't channeling it into a controlled vision. Instead you are letting it become chaos. And to protect yourself and survive, you have shut down. That is good - sort of - but then you can't sit back and complain about it. The way out is to be like a kid again. Look through the eyes of a child. Find the wonder. The rest will follow."

Hope it helps. I care.

My response to her quotable email:

HUGE THANKS for this! No one else has said the right things! All I keep hearing is, "you'll get through this" until I'm blue in the face! I've never faced so many life changes at the same time . . . The problems and challenges keep adding up until I can't see the forest for the trees! I hadn't realized how much I have shut down, which is a protective mechanism that I've used in the past, and I don't want to dig my way out of such a deep hole again!

I had a sense that I was reaching out for help, but it wasn't coming. Friends and family keep telling me that my sense of humor must be getting me through these long days, but I know that when I tell them the stories about that latest saga I work hard to make them sound funny! Humor hides pain as most comedians will attest to and I'm no different when I use that tool. Not that I would ever profess to be a comedian!

I worked very hard yesterday to get the boxes unpacked and out of the Great Room so that we'd have one place to sit where there weren't undone things staring at us! I also set up my very nice unbelieveably large bedroom with work stations (computer desk, drafting table, sewing machine etc.) so that when I woke up this morning the first thing I saw was a familiar sight; the possibility of work-in-progress. I think I feared that I might turn a brand new house into something it "shouldn't" be, but then my creativity would be stiffled if I didn't have a place in which to work. My room won't win any decorating awards but it works for me!

On a personal note: My rambling thoughts (many of which are self-pity) need some taming as they've run amok for way too long now and I can finally see some brighter days on the horizon.