Monday, December 06, 2010

MIA

Photo and quote from my book about possibilities: "Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."  Gloria Steinem

You might have thought that I've been writing the 50,000 word novel that I started on 11/1 for the contest, but that didn't go as planned. On 11/7 I came down with a virus that forced me to my knees. Stacy also had the virus and happily and shockingly enough she got over it. (her immune system is suppressed by anti-rejection meds she takes for the kidney transplant.) I kept going downhill to the point that I couldn't get out of bed and when one has two people to take care of that isn't a good thing. I was able to finally get help from Senior Helpers for mom and Stacy; at least they were fed and the laundry was done. After being ill for 1.5 weeks my jewel of a neighbor insisted that I go to Urgent Care where after a few hours the lab tests showed that I was too ill for their help. Being transported to the ER by ambulance brought on hysterics. I was all alone. At midnight I was told that I was critically ill with potassium levels so low that I needed to be monitored for arrhythmia, plus my blood count was so low enough that I was ordered to not get out of bed, I might faint. Lovely. My system was completely out of whack. After answering a million questions at 2am it was determined that my mental state had probably contributed more to the crisis than the flu had. Exhaustion.
      I had to arrange for 24-hour care for mom and Stacy and all I can say is that I didn't get one bit of rest in the hospital during the days I spent there. Running the household from a hospital bed was an experience I hope to never repeat. It's been a few weeks now since the crisis and I'm starting to get my bearings, very slowly, but my brain cells still aren't connecting which isn't conducive to getting much done. My take on that is that I'm supposed to rest and heal not only my body but my emotional state. To that end I haven't made plans to do anything outside of keeping doctor appointments.
     I have no idea what direction my life will now take, but I needed to stop everything I was doing in order to make room for new possibilities. Obviously, hitting a cement wall of health issues has me questioning everything in my life.

Happy Holidays to everyone!


6 comments:

Julie said...

Gail my dear friend! I am so sorry! I had been wondering where you were but I had never imagined that you were so ill. I wish I could give you a big hug but I'll have to send a cyber one instead {{oo}} Do get all the help you can and all the rest you can. Your body is definitely telling you it's time to take a complete break. Do take care my dear and feel better as soon as you can. Huge hugs (but gently) xxx

marieJ' said...

Dear Gail
Please,please take care...
..slow down with everything, let your body repair what ever is broken..

million hugs from across the ocean

Penny said...

Gail I knew something was wrong but didnt like to e mail in case it was as bad as I thought it was. I think it was worse.
You are going to have to make significant changes, but I am not sure if you can. I just wish I was closer. Love Penny

PAMO said...

Gail,
You are in my thoughts daily. Let us hear how you are doing when you can. Take care of yourself- everything else can wait.
Love and hugs,
Pam

Raewyn said...

Sending you love from across the oceans Gail. Please take care. I know how hard that is when you have others that rely so heavily on you. But the care giver has to care for her self first and formost. I do hope you can get more help for your mother to relieve you of some of the pressure.

Just know that I have you in my heart and prayers my friend.

Kim Palmer said...

Oh Gail, I'm so sorry to hear you have been so ill! I know how difficult it is to run the house, look after family and forget to look after yourself, even when you think you are coping very well! I hope this finds you healing and on the way to better health. Hugs and love from Aus!