Finished!

What a difference a few weeks makes! The house is ready to move into! The Casita, mom's place, is next to the garage and is separate from the house; there are two front windows in the casita and a sliding door entrance. The entrance to the house turned out better than I thought it was going to. The front yard is maintained by the association so it's already been planted! I'm looking forward to landscaping the back yard. And here I thought I'd never like having a new house in a complex! I've grown weary of the messy yards on the block where I've lived for 21 years and how tacky some of the houses are. I used to think that I had to live in an area where the houses had character, but now I find that I'm ready for a tidy neat house! I just hope that it doesn't curtail creativity!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I took a little time out today to go to lunch with my best friend. No birthday cake, but at my age it only goes to places that don't need anymore pounds added to them anyway!

On Saturday, when I finally worked my way to the bottom of a drawer, I discovered a photo of me with the famous photographer Cole Weston. I think that it was taken during a workshop that my partner and I had organized about 22 years ago! I have no idea why my hair doesn't look blonde! But even now with lots of grey streaks running through my hair I'm still a blonde with brown eyes. Cole was in his 60's and at the time of this photo and was dating a woman 12 years younger than I was! He died a few years ago well into his 80's.

Two weeks from today I'll be moved into the new house! I'm practically counting the hours!

Wishing For A Full Moon!

While you have a thing it can be taken from you, but when you give it, no robber can take it from you. It will be yours forever.
James Joyce

So much for the heat-wave! It only lasted for 1.5 days! The drippy fog has returned dampening my spirits and making the FM pain flare-up on par with the brain-fog and exhaustion. The trio is an obstacle that I don't have time to deal with. I need to be packed two weeks from today . . . Can I pull it off?!

The Process

I've lived through so many trials that I know if I don't go through a process that works for me then the drama will come back and bite me again and again! My process is that I first go through great disbelief, then I take care of what needs to be done for the situation, then I wallow around in the drama for awhile and move on!

I've moved on from the car and am once again taking care of business! Today a lot of my plants are being picked up by my friend who will give them the attention they need. I feel good about this even though they will no longer brighten my day.

The top grouping of black and white photos hung over my couch. I'm so tired of those black ledges that I'm donating them! The collage piece on lower left is a paper weaving with foreign coins. It's not as shiny as portrayed in the pic. The mirror started out as a multi-layered frame that I filled with a canvas painted black then sprayed with two colors of spray webbing before attaching the mirror. "Breathe" is a reminder to not hold my breath during moments of stress. Everything is now packed . . .

Well the long-awaited Sept. heat-wave seems to be slowly arriving!

Blues!

I woke up in tears! There isn't an ounce of energy left in my poor exhausted body and the FM flare-up is having a flare-up of such magnitude that I wanted to shout, "I give up!"
Today I'd much rather stay in this old moldy house than move forward. I know every inch of this house and how things fit into it. I know how the moisture from the fog drips off of the roof and where to put things under the eaves so that they won't get damp. And I know that I'll miss some of my plants that are too fragile to make the move with me!
The scent of jasmine was strong this morning when I toddled out to the curb to retrieve the Sunday newspaper. The vine is presently hidden behind a stack of boxes so I had no idea that there was a glorious patch of blooms on it!
I'm too tired, frustrated, and distraught to drum up any enthusiam over moving into a new house! I know that today is just another rough patch, but oh how I'd love to crawl back into bed and stay. There is a plate of French toast beckoning me from the kitchen, that is once I fry the soaked sourdough bread!

"In times of crisis, people reach for meaning. Meaning
in strength. Our survival may depend on our seeking
and finding it."
Victor Frankel

Chapters Closing

Every time I seal a box with tape I feel as if a chapter of my life is closing. But I had no idea that I would be moving forward in such a dramatic way as having my beloved car explode two days ago leaving me once again car-less! This car was unlike many of the ones I've owned in the past, it never once required any attention and handled like a dream! Though, I did have a few "visions" about it breaking down on a long stretch of road in the desert, which I assumed was just fear about facing new experiences.

A loud boom was followed by smoke billowing out from under the hood and the immediate loss of power. I was going uphill on the Munras on-ramp heading onto a section of Hwy. 1 when the drama started. I was able to pull off of the road and who do you call when something breaks down? Mom! "Call 911!" Of course I had thought about doing that but I wanted her to know first in case the smoke turned into flames. I've gotten pretty good at phoning 911, well not really, but I did know that I didn't need every emergency vehicle in Monterey to show up so I told the dispatcher I only needed a fire truck. Then I phoned AAA for a tow truck and when I disconnected that call on the cell much to my dismay the fire truck was barreling up Munras with a police car behind it slowing the traffic down. The truck blocked traffic from entering the on-ramp! I was horrified! The smoke was barely discernable and traffic immediately started backing up clear to the shopping center! Oh well!
No flames, but oil was leaking out all over the pavement so a bucket of sand was poured on it. Then when everyone decided that the car wasn't going to catch on fire the traffic was allowed to flow once again. By that time I was shaking pretty good and Stacy was hysterical! A fabulous police officer drove up and offered us sanctuary on his backseat and when the tow truck finally arrived 45 minutes after I had phoned for one, the officer offered us a ride wherever we needed to go. We had been on the way to moms to help her pack so he drove us from Monterey to Carmel Valley. Talk about service!
Later I was to learn that the engine had thrown a rod and cracked the block and that a new engine runs around $6,500 and up! I love my car, but . . . I filled out an online form to donate the car to the Polly Klass Foundation and after the initial info was taken I was told I would hear in a couple of days if the car was accepted.
I have so many things to do that require a car so I'm at the mercy of friends! I can't seem to shake the loss of the car! The last month has been a bit too surreal! I'm still in shock over moving and now this!

I'm going to miss the walkway (above) with its combo of stone and brick! Who knew that it created such a fabulous background for just about anything I place on it! The branch full of pine cones was another one that landed in my yard.
Usually by this time of year we're having a heat wave, but yesterday was the coldest Sept. 8th in 57 years! It's still 100 degrees in the desert!

AWOL!

I feel like my life has gone AWOL! At least the part of it that I recognize. The part of me that is on duty has turned into someone I don't recognize. Nearly all of my art supplies have been packed and with the sealing of each box more of what brings me happiness has disappeared. I assumed that it would be difficult to maintain my equilibrium without being able to paint some paper or experiment with a new technique. Three new magazines and a zine have arrived in the last three weeks and I have absolutely no interest in them. I know that it's true that what one focuses on becomes important, but I am rather surprised that I have slipped so easily into this non-creative mode. Will I be able to find my way back to what has fed my spirit and kept me sane for the last six years; will I be able to pick up where I left off, on the brink of working with fabric; will I . . .?? I have no idea, but at the moment creating art doesn't feel necessary. Where is this latest journey taking me?

I had a feeling that packing would be just as draining as it's turning out to be. If there wasn't a pot-of-gold at the end of this exhausting task of sorting out, throwing away, and packing up what has taken 20 years to fill up this tiny house with, then I would surrender and stay put! The desert seems to be calling me with a pull that is foreign. The pull to live here on the Monterey Peninsula 30 years ago was a strong one, so much so that I moved without questioning if it was the right thing to do. How could someone who loves the ocean as much as I do move to an arid part of CA? I now wish that I had taken more than the two photos above, but at the time I was in shock about the possibilty that I would be living there and didn't see any reason to photograph the scenery. Arid? Doesn't look that way in the photographs, does it? Trust me, outside of the housing complex it's very evident that it is arid! Just beyond the man-made lake in the photo on the left are rooftops of some of the houses in the complex. A few more pictures might have provided a better reminder, a reminder to keep my eye on the pot-of-gold rather than to wallow in despair and exhaustion.

I had always planned to photograph the interior of this house before I moved, but most the living room is now packed so that option is no longer open. Deep down I know that I will always remember the furniture placement and the way the room seemed to wrap around me like a cocoon when I needed to feel safe. I will remember how the morning light wakes me up on sunny days, which are often few and far between. I will remember how on balmy nights I can hear the seals bark and am in awe that the sound carries all the way from Monterey Bay to my ears a couple of miles away. I will remember how compact the ornamental plum tree was 20 years ago and how it has become one of the tallest trees on the block. I will remember many treasured moments and the many losses that have occurred while living here. The latest loss was an uncle who died on Aug. 23 a few weeks short of his 88th birthday. The best memories can't be photographed and they will remain with me until I can no longer remember them.

I have questioned my reluctance to pick up my camera and photograph the last few weeks here but now I have a better understanding of why I couldn't. In some ways it's too painful to think about leaving here while at the same time I've already mentally left. And so the gamut of emotions continues . . .

Moving Sale

Beautiful day on the Carmel Bay! I had the privilege of sharing some of my favorite spots with friends from New Zealand. The internet has blessed me with many friends but I never imagined that an ExpressionVillage member would end up at my door! What a delight!

More books posted for sale at:
http://tinyurl.com/gkzqt

Against My Will

The cactus to the right came with me when I moved from Big Sur to Pacific Grove over 20 years ago. Will it make another trek? It was a small plant that has since split a couple of times and now is large and heavy. It practically shouts, "Stay away," at anyone who gets near it and is only to happy to stick one with its prickly torns.

I'm knee deep in papers removed from a rusty metal filing cabinet; I can't figure out how to dispose of the cabinet! Tossing out papers is cathartic and depressing at the same time! I used to have an interesting life, at least I thought it was more interesting than the last decade has been. A life-long chronic illness decided to turn my world upside down against my will and insist that I carve out a quieter life; to stop kidding myself that my immune system was going to repair itself and suddenly allow me to live the life I envisoned.

I ran across an article that I had clipped out of the newspaper in 1998. Cecella George had written, "You feel like you have the flu all the time. If I listened to my body, I would never get out of bed." That's pretty much how I feel most of the time and that simple statement was the kick in the rear that helped me find a new direction for my life. Albeit a much quieter life, but one filled with online friends and days full of creativity.

My illness is often an inconvenience! And to that I say, "So what!"

Quote

"Be careful what you set your
heart upon--for it will surely
be yours."
James A. Baldwin

Second visit!

One lonely seagull came to visit today! I was trying to decide what plants to toss and which ones might survive in the desert when I heard the seagull fly overhead. I'm continuing to document the yard so I had my camera with me.

Seagulls

I've lived in this house nearly 21 years and not once in all of that time has a seagull ever landed on the roof! Are they saying goodbye to me?!

If I could have given them a little direction they would have been facing each other and the distance between them wouldn't have been so vast.

My life has suddenly changed!!

This little house in the CA desert near Palm Springs will soon be my new home!!! I never thought I'd be moving into a new house nor to the desert! But sometimes the solution to problems comes in a way that is so perfect that it's as if it were written in the stars! The two windows in the front are where Mom will reside in her own separate Casita/guest room that is attached to the house with a breezeway! Two bedrooms, two baths, laundry room, great room where the living space, dining nook and kitchen are! Over-sized garage with a sink in it where I will finally have space to dye fabric and make paper! A 12 foot covered patio with overhead fans and a fairly decent sized backyard. It's in a gated community and one must be over 55 to live there!

We discoverd that my aunt, mom's sister, and uncle are moving there in Feb. The sisters haven't lived near each other in 35 years!

The minuses! Leaving the Monterey Peninsula where I've lived for 30 years! A part of me will always remain here even though I may never return! The weather here is moderate; the temps in the desert are above 100 for at least 3-4 months a year!

The pluses! My daughter, two grandsons and fabulous SIL will be two hours away! The area is quiet and has more amenities than I'll probaby ever avail myself of! Mom won't be alone anymore and I feel a lot better knowing that she'll be only a few feet away and that we'll both still have some much needed privacy! It's hard to be in this situation of needing to take care of one's parent, be a care-giver for a 38 year-old daughter and have numerous health issues myself. The worry and stress was taking a huge toll on me! My SIL decided to locate a house and move us and once he makes a decision my daughter is only to happy to sit back and let him do "his thing." Did I mention how great he is!!!??

Escrow closes on Sept 26 and the GRAND EXIT from here is planned for the weekend of Sept 29th! Excitement, fright, gratefulness, relief, panic, grief, are all mixed together into a jumble that has a tight grip on me! La Quinta here we come!!

Maple Tree #2

A little black-and-white manipulation. Same photo as below. I seem to be running out of steam regarding the photo-a-day. A new challenge perhaps?

Maple tree

Another case of putting something behind the branch in order to isolate a portion of the tree.

New leaves on the Maple tree are pristine from about Jan. to April and by August they begin to look weathered and beaten down by life. Today, I'm feeling a little like these leaves.

Claws!

Another view of the cactus!

Tip: if you strategically place something black behind the object being photographed two things happen: you can create negative space plus a specific area of interest can be isolated. I used to have a piece of black cardboard in my camera bag; I no longer have a camera bag. Following the adage, "use what you have" I propped a piece of black cardstock behind an interesting section.

There are numerous things that can be done with negative space, or not.

Photo-a-day continues!

I forgot to post this yesterday even though I had it ready! There used to be 3 large specimans of this plant in the front yard, but High School kids couldn't resist carving their initials into them which was bad enough! Once graffiti started to appear it was time to pull the plants out! Around the bottoms of the 5 foot wide plants there were some babies and I now have 5 pretty good sized plants living on pots.

Sometimes the best abstracts are done in black-and-white; only then can one take in the shapes and textures.
"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way--things I had no words for."
Georgia O'Keeffe

I feel the same way about black-and-white images.

Found Art?

It's not only foggy today but windy as well. A few branches blew off of the plum tree. I was on my to the trash can with some newspapers I had used while spray painting a lantern on and had an epiphany! Newspaper - branches!

No motivation!

First non-photo day! I just didn't feel motivated . . .

Paris - Bench near the Eiffel Tower.

This is fun!
http://www.blogthings.com/whateuropeancitydoyoubelonginquiz/


My city is Paris! At least it's a city that I've been to and love!
"You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris.You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe"

Garage Sale

Books, magazines, and zines for sale. If you're a reader of this blog feel free to make an offer for any of the items for sale!

http://tinyurl.com/gkzqt

email me at:
mizriley2003@yahoo.com
Note: I'll do my best to keep the list updated. Five books sold immediately, thank you!, and that's when I discovered that I need to manually delete them from the list. So, please check
with me to see if an item is available; that way we can avoid disappointments.

The Joy Of Flying!

Sometimes one needs to look up to find a perfect scene! I heard them coming; they aren't quiet birds, so I was ready when they flew over-head.

Pine cone study

1. Straight photo. 2. Manipulated to make the shadows more intense. 3. Manipulated; frosty tips.

More pine cones fell into my yard last week during the heat-wave.

Santolina

I first became aware of this plant with its filigree leaves about a decade ago. Outside of the gym door at the local college there was a huge bush of it. I broke off a few pieces and to my surprise they rooted within two weeks.

The left top image is a close-up of the plant, the other three images were manipulated. The manipulated images might add a touch to an underwater scene.

Sky-scraper

This particular succulent has always reminded me of sky-scrapers. After a few attempts I nearly have an image that I like. The viewpoint is difficult to get but with a little PSE manipulation the black-and-white image is pretty close to what I visualized.

Quote:
"The sentimentalist ages far more quickly than the person who loves his work and enjoys new challenges." Lillie Langry - actress 1853-1929

Starting over after the hard drive crash of a month ago this quote shed some light on why in some ways I've stoped mourning over the lost images. I'm not much of a sentimentalist . . .

A rich patina!

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us."
Virginia Wolf

The brass bowl has been out in the yard for a few years; the benefit is the rich patina its acquired! A patina like this can't be faked with one of the new faux paint kits on the market.

The feather was lying on the stone path, but it didn't photograph as well as I had hoped it would. A little drama was required; I challenged myself to find something in the proximity of the stones . I think there is bit of humor in the scene. The handles on the bowl almost look like ears . . .
The play of the dark moss against the light stones only became evident when I looked through the viewfinder.

I might have missed the feather on the stone if the sun had been out. After a nearly week long heat wave the fog came rolling and and cooled us off in a big way! The temp yesterday and today is 60 degrees! Amazing how fast a heat wave can vanish! The fog softens/flattens the light and often brings out details that are missed in bright sunlight.

Sweeping away . . .

A rather mundane object, but a necessary one! The broom leans against the house next to where the brick fireplace juts out. The combination of the textures is more evident in the manipulated version than the color it was shot in. I couldn't wait to get inside and turn it into a black and white photo!

I need a broom to sweep away more than debris! I keep mourning the lost photos and work that can't be retrieved from the crashed hard drive! Word came earlier this week that the hard drive is refusing to give up any of my work!
What a hard leason to learn! So, now I'm getting into the habit of saving a second copy of anything I'd like to save and most likely I'm over-doing it and will have endless CD's! Keeping them organized will surely drive me mad!

Prehistoric

No sooner than I say that finding images might become more difficult than this one appears! In bright sunlight the rocks are flat and uninteresting, but in the early morning when shadows from the tree land on them the colors and depth are quite beautiful. No, I didn't place the feather there. Birds occasionally leave behind a variety of treasures such as acorns buried in pots where an oak tree has no business sprouting from.

Labyrinth Assemblage

The 5X7 inch frame is more gold than green . . .
Embossed metal, metal strips, and wrapped metal bead.

SOLD

"The piece is done when it stops questioning me."
Joan Mitchell

Pine Cone Study

The search for images continues as I make my way through my yard. Pine cones drop into my yard from the giant tree next door! Whatever is in my yard becomes "found art." Two of the images on the left, the second and third ones, are manipulated. The rest of the images have been cropped and all were taken using the close-up feature on the digital camera.

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." Mark Twain

How true! For years I've thought about photographing on my home turf, but it wasn't until I broke it down into a daily activity that I was able to start the project. I give myself 5 minutes to find an image; if I don't find one in that time-frame I try again later in the day. Sometimes when the light has changed suddenly something will appear that I hadn't noticed earlier in the day.

Faces in Stone

The "caricature" in the stone walkway from a few days ago was the inspiration for this. The color was removed from the image and manipulated a little, then 3 face brushes, that I created, were blended in. The number 56 is on the upper area.