March Happenings

Hadn't been to the La Quinta Arts Festival in 3 years. It was time for another visit.

We were greeted by Michael Gard's sculpture dancing in the breeze.

Fondness for trees.

The setting for what is known as the #1 Fine Arts and Craft Festival

in the nation.

Hadn't visited Bob William's Nursery in about 4 years.

We bought the plant below about 6 years ago and it's multiplied numerous times. The name on

the pot was Spider Web. But alas at the nursery I found out that it's AKA Lemon Drop Fortnight Lily.

Mmmm, which name is more suitable?

Worked on setting up a studio in what was mom's casita. There is a breezeway

between the house and the Studio. Yes, a separate entrance!

Some furniture I painted for the Studio. 

And once again the magical cactus blooms are starting to greet me daily.

 I think of them as the gift of April! 

Spring

Winter barely happened here in the desert making Spring unremarkable.

There was once a strong force of three. Mom, myself, and daughter. Mom's brain has faded too much for me to care for her needs; she's now in a Board and Care home where I know she's being well cared for, but a part of me feels like I've given her up for adoption.

Since Dad's transition fourteen years ago, and Roger's four years ago today March has been a time for reflection. But this year there have been pleasant distractions in the reflection pond. The studio is up and running and I've turned my bedroom into more of a sanctuary than messy studio.

Sometimes being puffy with satisfaction is all one needs.

There are always blue skies ahead . ..

(except for the ducks in the pond, all images were photographed in and from my backyard.)

March!

Where did February go? I assumed that I had blogged last month but I see that I was mistaken. Plans went awry that's for sure. Mom didn't end up going into a Board and Care home that my brother and I had lined up in December. Instead she fell again and this time fractured her pelvis. So, not only has Alzheimer's wiped out her memory now her bones are breaking. It's a very sad time made more so when we visit her in a nursing home. It's not the place we had hoped she would end up in.

I've never been drawn to Heart shaped anything but suddenly hearts seem to be appearing everywhere. While I was sorting thru art supplies a few weeks ago a container of foam hearts fell out of a box and the tiny hearts seem to have drifted throughout the house; they show up in the unlikely places. A key ring with a silver heart was discovered in a drawer in the dresser. Yesterday at the La Quinta Art Festival  I saw quite a few heart shaped art pieces and this morning when I was moving some things on my desk the above arrangement was on a canvas. Okay. Someone loves me! I believe! After seeing a lot of paintings yesterday Stacy informed me last night that I should make a painting for her and it should be a heart.

The dried roses in the photo are from a bush that bloomed on the day Roger died three years 

ago this month.

Know that you are loved!

De-cluttering

Why is it that January seems to be the time of year when so many of  us decide to de-clutter? Perhaps one reason is that there are articles about organizing the clutter along with sales of storage containers? It doesn't matter where the urge comes from it seems to overtake my sanity; I question the purpose of every item in the house including art supplies. In fact, lately I've wondered why in blazes I have so many supplies in which to create art when I can't find a good reason to do anything. Ask a question and the answer often arrives, that is if I wait for it. A Paris Review interview with author Raymond Carver provided an epic reason for creating. FIERCE PLEASURE! And so it is . . .

The photo was taken last summer when the Plumeria bloomed. A Tropical plant in the desert? 
Sure amazed me when I started seeing them here. I've started about 8 from the 2 plants that 
Roger bought 6 years ago. 

2014!

 Spencer, aka, Mr. Handsome, greeted 2014 with his usual nonchalance; nothing to get excited about.  His stance on things unless it's something to do with food is to keep his cool. He's all about food and snuggling.We celebrated 14 years of his life in October. His sister graced us with 12, not nearly enough.

Winter here in the desert has been very mild, so far. Snow on the surrounding mountains hasn't  made much of an appearance this year. And while the nights and early mornings are cold the days in the 70's are sublime. Is there anything better than picking oranges from a tree right outside of the kitchen? This is the first year the tree has provided more than 2 so perhaps this year will be even better. One can only trust that abundance in all things will happen. 

      Orange segments added to the morning smoothie along with the twin Omega 3 seeds, as I call Hemp and Chia, a couple of frozen chunks of banana, some strawberries all blended with homemade walnut and sunflower milk and I'm set for hours. This morning it occurred to me that oranges in a smoothie might be even better with the addition of Vanilla. The result was an Orange-Julius type flavor. Yum.

I've been in limbo for way too long as I'm sure anyone who visits this blog has ascertained. I'm looking forward to getting mom settled into a 24-hour care place even though it breaks my  heart that I won't see her daily. The visit to the nursing home yesterday left me very bereft and numb. Watching  her struggle to walk or make sense of food is painful enough but even more unbearable is no longer hearing her voice. She's become completely non-verbal. Not a huge surprise as she was only able to give short and often erroneous replies, but when it hit Stacy yesterday that her grandmother doesn't respond at all watching Stacy deal with that through her sobbing . . . 

    There are Alzheimer's Gifts though. Stacy decided to hold her grandmother's hand and when mom patted Stacy's hand the communication was heartfelt. Silence can be a good thing. Don't we find ourselves in the silence? I spent most of last year distracting myself from Life. I've chosen a word for this year and once I create and artwork for the word I'll post it. In the meantime, if you've chosen a word, please share by leaving a comment.

When I photographed this sunset at the Salton Sea I started musing about paths.

 Which path will I take this year?

End of The Year

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.
It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing,
and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

~ Melodie Beattie

The above photo was taken in November while standing in a spot I find myself in more often than I care to; the gas station filling the tank. We were just returning from visiting mom who has been in a nursing home since November 24th when she broke a hip. In her Alzheimer's state she doesn't realize that the hip broke nor does she know that she had surgery to repair the break. For seven years I've been her memory keeper;  it's taken a huge toll on me even though I've done my best to not allow that to happen. Anyway, what caught my eye on this day was the afternoon lighting and the clouds. This scene isn't particularly photo-worthy, or at least I've never seen it that way.   I'm glad that I had grabbed the iPhone and took a few photos otherwise I would have missed the opportunity to turn an ordinary looking scene into something fun.  You never know when an open field in front of restaurants and stores including Costco might become a favorite photo.

 A few favorite ornaments. The Maui train from my daughter, the cat in memory of Zeus, 1982-1998. The blue glass snowflake is hand-made by a dear friend. (just noticed that it's hanging backwards.)

May 2014 be a spectacular year for everyone!

October

I'm clueless as to where the month has gone. Dithered away into the ethers is my best guess. I started this piece in May of 2012 before everything went south, health wise. I never did know what I was going to do with it but it's found a home draped over the Janome Felting Machine. Remember when we all had to have one? What I learned from purchasing the "rarely-used" machine is to wait awhile before getting the latest must have device, machine etc. The bloom often wears off fast. 

This fabric piece was an experiment Rayna Gillman's fabulous book, "Create your Own Free-Form Quilts."

Right now Rayna is off an adventure in England and France of which I'm attempting to not be jealous of. 

Be fascinated is a photo of a decaying plumeria leaf.

Birthday Abstract

Flowing into a new year! Last year at this time I wasn't so sure I'd be here for another birthday. I had the 3rd round of 4 chemo treatments. Life is good on this birthday!

This 14x18 acrylic painting has two layers of under-paintings. The first painting was flowers by someone who donated the piece to a thrift store. I love using recycled canvases. The second under-painting was sort of a graffiti attempt with my name, the month and my age on it. While painting over that this one evolved.

August Abstract

 Yep, I know it's September, but I never got around to posting the two paintings I did last month. Life is often full of distractions of the unwanted variety. Mom is probably in the last throes of Alzheimer's and it's becoming more evident that it's time to look for a nursing home or? I'm not able to give her the care she now needs and it's breaking my heart. 

Anyway, the above acrylic painting is 11x14 on canvas board.

Woke up to a cloudless sky today, but no complaints as the humidity that had settled in for a lengthy visit has moved on. Over the last few weeks there were some interesting tropical storms that provided great fodder as conversation starters, albeit, boring at times but nevertheless current. This photo was a little manipulated in order to get some green shrubbery into it. Otherwise I think the photo would have been bland.

9/11 a Day of Reflection

 It's good to get a different perspective of where one lives. Even if the photo is a bit tilted! This was a grab shot out of the car window taken from a viewpoint I rarely see of La Quinta. Usually, I'm going from one errand to another without really "seeing." But on this day I took the camera with us solely intent on getting a few photos of the mountains and glorious clouds. Is there anything more stupendous than clouds? Okay, probably sunsets, but when clouds cross the sky I'm uplifted for some strange reason. Maybe it's the shapes or textures, or perhaps it's white against blue that moves me, all I know is that I smile more. I was able to get one photograph from this vantage point and then the unforeseen happened. The disk was full! If I had been able to take more photos I'm positive that I would have gotten a shot that wasn't tilted, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Desert mountains.

Breathe!

 Reminder to self, Breathe! You're where you need to be, at all times! Nothing is more important than what you're doing right now at this moment. Breathe . . . .

(I finally was able to photograph a visitor to the fountain!)

A few more cactus blooms have provided moments of absolute joy! They're magnificent and even more so after surviving the Tropical Storm Ivo. Here in the desert I've never seen the rain pound with such ferociousness as it did on Sunday. There are distinct shoreline markings on the gravel in the backyard from when the water slowly receded. The parched ground refuses to absorb water so the yard became an instant pond and streets became rivers. As if the rain wasn't enough lightning and thunder added to the drama. And the humidity is over-the-top, especially when the temps remain in the 90-100+ range. Simply step outside for a sauna.

Worrying?

I found a black iron tiny teapot in mom's things and have been photographing it in various settings; I have in mind to give the teapot to someone special. So, before it's mailed off to its new home I've taken about a dozen photos of it. This one was against a white wall which allowed me to layer it in the Photo Tangler app. The layer I used is from a photo I took in Orvieto, Italy. Any suggestions of where and how to photograph the teapot?

Allow your life to Happen

 It seems to me that I just photographed these magnificent cactus blooms, but as it turns out it was last August. They bloom once a year. This photo was photographed early in the morning against a hedge that to my amazement turned black in the finished image. Gotta love the magic of photography.

 Even when the blooms decay they're spectacular.

Layers done on the iPad with an app that I've been playing with. Photo Tangler.

Allow your life to Happen was the thought I woke up with a few days ago. Resisting and complaining is much easier, or is it? Allowing might just be a better choice. Any thoughts?

soar

T

My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery - always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What's this passion for?

 Virginia Woolf- author

this quote pretty well sums up the past few weeks.

Pompeii painting and more

 This close-up of the painting in the last post still isn't an accurate depiction

 either, but this photo shows more of the textures. (thanks Julie for your comment!)

 The temps here in the desert are not conducive to working in the garage studio so I've set up a workspace on the bathroom counter. The really nice thing about the counter is there is a second sink to the right just out of frame. I can leave the mess painting for awhile without it being in my way.

I adore paint when it blends into each other. I have no idea where this painting is going to go. If I were to say that I have a process, it's just to start!

August?

 Where did July go? I'm clueless.

 The above image is a manipulated photo done on the iPad.

I've failed numerous times to get a good photo of this painting. It's 30x35 inches and the largest canvas I've ever worked. For about 2 months it was propped up on the worktable in the garage and was blank except for surface texture. I'd stand in front of it and, nothing! I couldn't seem to apply paint to its surface and then suddenly on a balmy day in May it wanted to come to life. The title is Pompeii, Italy and grew out of a feeling I had while wandering around the ruins 4 summers ago. The buildings are roofless thus the division on this painting. I lost count on how many layers I did that day but it's at least 6. I hope to one day to get a great photograph is this painting. 

Happy August everyone!

Mid June!

 Me thinks that I slept through the last few weeks. Actually, I've been very busy sorting out my life. I admit that I did forget about the Give-away. Oops! Stacy drew names from a straw hat. Raewyn, who I've contacted. Nellie, who I haven't and Amy who sent me an email due to a comment issue. I've had that happen myself on some blogs when I want to leave a comment.

 Yes, I do love birds! Always have. There have been a few pet birds in my life ending back in the early 80's when I'd enough of cleaning out cages. I much prefer the visitors to my yard but did they have to eat up the few bunches of grapes that I planned on enjoying? I'm considering pulling out the grape vines and planting some type of non-edible vine in place. Much easier to purchase organic grapes, though, the birds do enjoy them.

Some good news! The cancer marker test remains normal and the mammogram was normal as well. Cancer-free! The next appt. with the oncologist is a year from now so to say the least I'm celebrating big time! Can you believe that head of curls!? That was six months of hair after losing 98% of it to chemo. I still had a fringe in the back that I kept. I wasn't fond of the Orphan Annie look so I walked into Supercuts on Tuesday and asked the gal who greeted me if she thought she could find a hair-style amongst the curls. She was positive she could and happily she did!

I haven't had short hair in over 30 years but I'm liking it now, especially in the brutal heat that hit the desert already. 114 degrees last Friday and it's been hovering around 108 ever since. June temps usually aren't quite this intense.

I celebrated by gifting myself an iPad and discovered some photos I'd forgotten about when I downloaded them to various albums. (I'm so confused as to where I stand saving photos to 2 external drives, 2 clouds, and now the iPad. Oh, and Shutterfly for pics that my daughter emails me. I'm overwhelmed over the 1000's of photos that exist on my devices.) Anyway, I ran across this one and I believe that's it completely digital but for the life of me I have no memory of creating it or how it was done. I do have an inking though. There is a watermark on it so I must have decided that I'd post it someday. This is the type of look I'd love to achieve with paint.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Memorial Day Weekend - Staycation/retreat

My daughter and family are heading for Carmel and San Francisco for the weekend and I'm feel nostalgic for Carmel. I lived in and near Carmel for over 35 years and nothing compares to the Monterey Peninsula!!! Rather than have a pity-party, which isn't hard to do these days, I've decided to treat myself to a weekend of pampering. I checked the freezer and happily I was smart enough to freeze some meals. I've already had a facial and nice long shower, made a delicious rich chocolate smoothie and am salivating over the popcorn that I'll pop in a bit. I found a recipe for a Doritos-like spice blend to use on popcorn. The organic popcorn has been measured and is waiting in the air-popper. I haven't found a movie to watch yet, but I know that instant-streaming on Netflix has something waiting. I found two books waiting on the iPad for me so I'm set for a nice quiet weekend of doing nothing but enjoying myself. (what plans do you have? share.)
   
The image above is a superimposed one of a tree photo that was shot last year on Memorial Day Weekend when Corey and family were here for the weekend. We went up the Palm Springs Tram for the view and dinner and the tree was backlit by empty sunset sky making it the perfect image to layer with backgrounds. In this case the background is a section of an abstract painting I just finished for the living room.

Be sure to leave a comment on the post earlier this month for a give-away that ends soon.

 Benjamin Harrison
I have never been able to think of the day as one of mourning; I have never quite been able to feel that half-masted flags were appropriate on Decoration Day. I have rather felt that the flag should be at the peak, because those whose dying we commemorate rejoiced in seeing it where their valor placed it. We honor them in a joyous, thankful, triumphant commemoration of what they did.

Happy Mother's Day

 Cactus Blooms by moonlight.

Hibiscus.

''God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.''

 Rudyard Kipling

May! Give-away

I can't help but wonder what this year will bring into my life. It was one year ago this month that I knew I had cancer even before the diagnosis was given to me. The radiologist who told me said that everyone I'd met at the mammography center knew that I'd get through it, "just a detour for you. It's your attitude that will see you through." Perhaps I come across as having a good attitude but if they really knew how I felt inside I doubt I would have been told that. I can honestly say that I didn't expect to be here a year later. But here I am, still standing!

 The image in the mirror is very foreign to me; it's as if the former me has been replaced by someone who now has silver curly hair. Gone is the blond who prefers shoulder length hair and the face that now greets me has become thinner and more wrinkled due to weight loss. I tell myself that change is good and that life is good, but my voice isn't very convincing. I did say that going through chemo and radiation would not only be like a tsunami but would give my immune system a clean slate on which to build a new one. Did that also mean a new body? Perhaps I wasn't clear about what I expected. I knew that presenting myself to the world with only one breast wouldn't be easy but I didn't expect to age so much as well! My energy levels are even lower than before and that was expected but not welcome. Too many days spent resting make for frustration and huge doses of self-pity. And so it goes . . .

There is always much to celebrate and I choose to do that most of the time rather than throw a self-pity party. I can't remember the last time I had a give-away. What better way to celebrate being alive than by giving away something that I've enjoyed creating? Fractured Grids. These studies are 5x7 inches done on mat board. They're not framed in the photo below, but I'll pop them into black frames before sending them out. Leave me a comment by the end of May letting me know which one you might enjoy, 1,2, or 3. Just yesterday according to the count of Blogger Dashboard there were over 30 visits to this blog. I don't know when the counter stopped, but visits are still noted on the Dashboard and to date there have been nearly 21,000. (Note: the counter still listed on the side of the posts notes world-wide visits. Can't remember when I added that counter but the total isn't accurate.) It would be outstanding to hear from many of you.

Follow the path of your appetite, your desires, and your secret wants.

- Mama Gena